


We Could've Had it All

by Commanderling



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Human, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Forced, Forced Pregnancy, Humanformers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Manipulation, Manipulative Relationship, Might add or delete some as I figure out the story more, Mpreg, Torture, Trauma, prowl trusts mesothulas and realizes he's a bad boy, this is a reenactment of the best thing to happen in IDW
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-10-07 04:33:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17359037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Commanderling/pseuds/Commanderling
Summary: Prowl knows there's something wrong with him, but he thinks he knows the culprit.A corrupt scientist husband doesn't exactly seem trustworthy to an overly paranoid man.





	1. Is something wrong, Prowl?

**Author's Note:**

> I really love humanformers and Springer's backstory. This has been a concept in my mind for a while, and I've finally broken down to make it real. EXTRA NOTE: Every time you see italics, that is in Prowl's head. Please leave any comments or concerns, but remember that I'm not planning on making this a very happy work.

_I can feel it._

_I know he did something to me, but I can’t quite place what it is._

_All I know is that for several weeks, I’ve felt some sort of way that I can’t even describe._

_I feel off._

_This isn’t right…_

***

Prowl jolted upright from his half-asleep state. He hadn’t slept right the past few nights because of some terrible anxiety he had conjured up lately. He knew that if he wanted to be fully functional for work the next day, he would have to try to sleep yet again, but thoughts poured into his mind and the only solution he could muster up was to indulge in tea before attempting to sleep once more.

Rolling heavily out of bed, he put on a pair of socks to keep his feet warm before traveling downstairs. The lights were still on which indicated that Mesothulas was still working late into the night, which wasn’t something strange for him. There had been several nights where Prowl had come down at the usual 7 am to see Mesothulas up and working as if night hadn’t passed at all.

Nothing he did seemed to be healthy for him, but it was better than arguing about taking care of his body more. Prowl knew he would be ridiculed as a hypocrite himself, but at least he had a schedule of sorts.

Hearing the creaking of the stairs, Mesothulas turned around to face the doorway to his lab. “Prowl,” he said in a mildly concerned voice. “What are you still doing up?”

“I’ve been asleep for a couple of hours,” he started, while not even looking at the man. “I had trouble getting to sleep, so I’m making myself some tea.”

He pulled out the package of assorted teas he bought from the local market. American tea wasn’t as good as the tea he had back when he lived in Tokyo, but it was all he had at his convenience. He certainly wouldn't allow for Mesothulas to pay for the teas he missed from home just because he couldn’t handle the difference and whatnot.

Waiting patiently for the water to heat up in the microwave, he pulled out a packet of green tea, which he figured would work just as well as chamomile, and then headed back to Mesothulas’ “chamber”. It was really just a small office they renovated to allow for inventions, and frankly, Prowl didn’t think it was big enough for the man’s imagination.

“What are you working on now?” he asked, leaning over his lover’s shoulder in a somewhat pleasurable manner. Mesothulas reached up to put a hand over Prowl’s before lifting up a sketch of some odd looking machine. Prowl raised an eyebrow in questioning, and the other man began to explain. 

“I’m working on a basic transporter right now…something not unlike the ones you see on Star Trek.” Prowl proceeded to cock his head to the side. “Do you not know Star Trek…?”

“I don’t watch TV often,” the younger man responded as he nervously reached a hand up to mess with his hair.

Luckily for Prowl’s embarrassment, he heard the annoying ‘BEEP’ of the microwave going off. “Don’t stay up all night,” he instructed his partner as he retreated to the kitchen.

He quickly steeped the tea before making his way back to his room, sipping lightly on the hot and nearly flavorless drink. In less than half an hour, he felt himself slipping into a light yet much welcomed slumber.

***

Prowl’s mornings were always fairly uneventful and always the same. He would wake up at 7 am, take a quick shower, dress, and walk downstairs to eat a bagel (not a donut. He hated the belief that all police officers loved donuts) before going to the station to arrive there at 8.

This morning wasn’t like that though. Instead, Prowl woke up at 9 and immediately had to call the station to inform them that he was still coming in, and that he had just overslept. He thought this was weird, because he hardly ever overslept. If he did, it would only be by fifteen minutes, but this was two hours after his normal time. He must have turned off all his alarms in his sleep.

Deciding he should stop worrying about it, as he hadn’t gotten to sleep last night until around 3 am, he rushed to get his uniform on and ran downstairs for a quick goodbye to Mesothulas before running out the door.

He fully expected to leave without getting anything to eat for the day, but he was pleasantly greeted by his husband holding a paper bag filled with food sporting a messily written “Prowl~” on one side. 

“I knew you were running late, but I just couldn’t force you awake,” he said sheepishly before thrusting the bag into his hands. “I packed your favorite.”

Prowl opened the bag to take a look inside before he left. He saw a turkey and cheese sandwich with a small bag of vegetables on the side. Simple but tasty, something he relished.

“This is…unexpected,” he admitted before placing a kiss on the man’s cheek that resulted in a simple blush from him. He covered his face a bit to hide it.

“Be careful, alright?”

Prowl nodded to him before running to his cruiser.

***

For the most part, the day was relatively slow. There weren’t many calls, and if there were, patrollers already out of the office were easily able to handle them. Prowl was thankful for this because of how odd he felt.

Despite feeling relatively normal otherwise, he felt some kind of lingering strangeness in his body. If it continued any longer, he might feel tempted to contact a doctor, but the problem with that was that he had no physical symptoms other than feeling strange. Any doctor would surely laugh at him.

Maybe it was the anxiety, but he never regularly felt like this.

His thoughts were disturbed when his pager went off and he sprang into action. 

“This is officer Prowl,” he said, already running to his cruiser.

“We need you downtown on Lee,” a voice rang over the pager that sounded like the rookie, Roller. “What’s going on,” Prowl questioned as he started the car and began to head in that direction.

“There’s a robbery at the pharmacy and he has a gun,” he practically yelled over the pager. Roller normally acted like a brave guy, but he seemed a little unnerved this time. Prowl could only assume that since he had been a cop for less than a week, he probably wasn’t used to stuff like this just yet.

“I’m on my way,” Prowl said back to him as he got in and started the cruiser, sirens blaring above his head. He had been on the force for ten years now, and while that wasn’t nearly as long as some of the other officers at the station, it still gave him time to see nearly every type of case.

He had dealt with rapes, homicides, suicides, bombers, pretty much everything you can imagine. Guess that was the downside to working in the NYPD, but he was proud nonetheless.

In a short amount of time, Prowl stalled his cruiser next to another police officer, conveniently blocking the road. It only felt good when he was on duty.

He took his gun out of his holster and proceeded to turn off the safety as he made his way to the other police officers to prepare for the robber. Prowl could only assume that since police officers surrounded him, he was holding the pharmacy customers hostage.

Prowl’s notions were cut short when the robber quickly came dashing out of the building, firing shots at the officers, which landed a bullet into one’s chest. Thankfully they all had their vests on.

The distraction was short-lived as Prowl gathered his wits and took off after him, sprinting as fast as he could as the guy zigzagged in front of him, trying to make himself harder to aim at. 

Luckily, Prowl didn’t need his aim for this one.

As he approached him, he sprang towards the criminal, tackling him to the ground and pinning him down. “You’re under arrest,” he assured the man before presenting cuffs and placing them on his wrists. The criminal grunted, and Roller walked over to help Prowl put him into one of the cruisers.

Roller closed the door. “Another criminal caught. Good work Prowler!” the rookie yelled in excitement. 

Prowl was still out of breath from the running he had to do, but he still had it in him to protest the cruel nickname the kid gave him. “Officer Prowler. Er…Prowl,” he quickly corrected before turning away.

It was weird: despite having rested for a bit, Prowl still felt out of breath, which was different for him because he was always in good shape. That was when he felt a wave of dizziness break through his entire body, and he had to grab onto the cruiser for support.

“Prowl?” Roller reached out a hand to steady him, but it was too late. Prowl’s face was ghost white when his body hit the ground with a loud thud.

***

_This isn’t right…_

_I don’t feel right…_

_What’s wrong with me…?_

_What did he do?_

***

Prowl woke up in a cold sweat before he realized he was back home in his own bed. A cool cloth was placed on his forehead before he realized that Mesothulas was in there with him. His vision was a little bit blurry, but he managed to make out the shape of his face and the mass of hair that was piled atop his head.

“Before you ask, you passed out at work,” he said before wetting the cloth once more and placing it back.

Prowl didn’t protest at the chilling feeling, as it felt refreshing to him. “So they brought me here and not to a hospital…?” Prowl’s voice still sounded weak from exhaustion. Mesothulas only nodded towards him. “They know I used to be a doctor and thought it best that you stay with me at home,” he said stroking the side of his lover’s face lightly.

Prowl leaned into the touch, eyes falling shut despite trying to stay awake.

“What is wrong with me then…?” Prowl looked up to him with half-closed eyes. Mesothulas didn’t like to look into them because he very rarely saw emotion. This time, however, he saw a tinge of fear behind the normally strong-minded man.

“You overworked yourself, but you’ll recover soon,” he reassured him.

That was when Prowl really knew he had been lied to. If something was truly wrong, he knew that Mesothulas would probably tell him, but even if he only had a bad cold, he assumed he would tell him as well. In all of his years as an officer, taking countless shifts that sometimes left him without sleep for days, he had never once been “overworked”. 

But Prowl didn’t feel like questioning him.

He felt like sleeping again.

As Prowl dozed into a deep slumber, he saw Mesothulas’ face towering over him once more.

“It worked…” the scientist whispered to himself when he knew that Prowl was fully asleep.


	2. You seem upset...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prowl's condition seems to be getting weirder, so out of curiosity and concern, Roller steps up to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me so long to put out. I have a real problem with writing things and then never wanting to proofread, so this was written a few weeks ago in reality. Anyways, I do have to mention that this chapter is dark. There is mild cussing, there are mentions of rape, but there are also nice fluffy moments so please just be aware of these things before you dive in.
> 
> Also just an extra note: this is obviously not going to be like the actual Osteros story from IDW, but I'm taking elements from that and putting them together to make something I enjoy.
> 
> Roller is a good boy.

It had been a few months since the fainting incident, and Prowl had been acting normal ever since. He didn’t feel as though he had to take many breaks, and his sleeping habits were virtually back to normal. One thing that did bother him, however, was the fact that he couldn’t get his pants to fit.

Prowl had been standing in the mirror for around fifteen minutes, struggling against the strain of his work pants as he tried sucking in his gut, but to no avail, he seemed to have outgrown them. Standing in his boxers, Prowl tugged lightly at the protruded stomach, grimacing at his weight before tossing the pants aside and grabbing a pair of black dress pants from Mesothulas’ drawer. He pulled them on, quickly fastening the button, thankful that his partner was just a bit bigger around the waist than he normally was. 

The officer rushed downstairs to grab his breakfast and head out the door to the station, but he noticed the light was still on inside his husband’s workshop. Prowl knocked on the door, cracking it open to look inside while the lanky man peered over his shoulder, a smile on his face. “Is it morning already?” he asked, taking a sip from his drink as he turned to face Prowl.

“Yes,” he answered, leaning heavily against the doorway. He always despised whenever Mesothulas stayed up all night, ruining his health and his sleeping pattern wasn’t exactly the best thing, but he sometimes wondered if his lover had needed any sleep at all. “Did you stay up all night again?” Prowl asked, making a half frown when Mesothulas nodded, messy hair bobbing along with it. “As always,” the other mocked.

Prowl was barely in any sort of mood to deal with him if he was going to act this way. He always worried that the other was going to get sick if he kept this behavior up, and it had bothered him lately that Mesothulas seemed more interested in his work than his own partner. While Prowl was never the affectionate type, it was nice every once in a while to cuddle with the man he fell in love with, especially whenever he was feeling tired or sick, both of which seemed to be happening more often lately. 

Rather than consulting the other, Prowl preferred to keep his feelings to himself and head to work.

***

The station seemed empty today, not that it wasn’t nearly empty every day, but there were only a few officers in the actual building.

“Is everyone off, or do we just have a lot of patrollers on duty today?” Prowl said to Roller as he sat down at his desk, turning on his computer.

Roller lazily looked over, “Oh, yeah…got a lot of calls off…” he told the other, sitting up and trying to look like he was doing paperwork now that his superior officer was there. “Guess a lot of people want to take off now that it’s getting closer to the holidays. Family and stuff.”

Prowl nodded, opening one of his documents and beginning some paperwork.

He could tell Roller was still looking at him, even if he could barely see the other man.

“Do you need something?” Prowl asked, almost annoyed because he knew Roller was too observant, and he wasn’t ready to deal with him so early in the morning. 

“New pants?” he asked him, a snicker accidentally escaping his mouth. Prowl was in no mood to deal with his shit. He slammed his hand down on the desk before giving the young officer a glare that earned a look of terror off the other’s face. “It might result in me getting fired, but you and I both know I’m not afraid to shove a stapler up your ass if you ever laugh at me like that again,” Prowl threatened Roller as he nodded, turning away again to pretend he was working.

Prowl was beginning to get a little self-conscious of his own appearance, and while Mesothulas didn’t seem to mind it (or take notice) everyone at the office seemed to point it out as often as they could, and it was beginning to get on his nerves. He sighed, looking down at his belly and poking it before he jumped halfway across the office, scaring Roller in the process.

“Prowl, what the hell!?” he yelled, running over to his side as Prowl had a blank stare on his face. “I…felt something move,” Prowl replied, resting his hands on his belly and looking up at Roller with a concerned look on his face. This only scared Roller even more, as he’d only seen Prowl express one emotion, and it was never fear. This look was an entirely new concept. Thinking quickly, he picked up the smaller man and began making his way to the car.

“What are you doing!?” Prowl growled, not being a fan of being carried by any means. “I’m taking you to a doctor so we can see what’s going on!” Roller said, now more concerned than Prowl could ever be.

“We can’t leave work you idiot, this is against protocol!” Prowl was struggling against him, but was no match for Roller’s greater strength as he shoved him into the back of his cruiser, shutting the door so that Prowl wouldn’t be able to escape.

Roller chuckled. “Always wanted to do that to you.”

***

Not only was Prowl annoyed that he was taken away from work, carried, and shoved into a cruiser like a prisoner to go to his least favorite location, but he was also peeved at Roller’s improper use of the car’s sirens. “This isn’t an emergency,” he’d told him, but Roller being the child he was, promptly ignored his ‘prisoner’ as he pulled into the hospital parking lot.

Roller opened the back door, and before he could grab him again, Prowl pushed past him and stomped his way to the ER entrance. He soon felt the light flutter again and felt his knees weaken, luckily having Roller grab him, holding him up before he could make contact with the pavement. The two walked into the waiting room where Roller plopped Prowl into a chair. “Wait here,” he said as he walked to the desk to check him in.

Prowl heavily sighed, grabbing his phone and calling Mesothulas to inform him of the situation. To no surprise, he didn’t answer, and Prowl angrily shoved the phone back into his pocket, huffing and crossing his arms as Roller sat down next to him.

“Everything alright?” Roller asked as he timidly put a comforting hand on Prowl’s shoulder. Roller was shocked that it wasn’t harshly slapped off. “I would appreciate it if my partner would pick up the phone so I can tell him I’m in a fucking emergency room,” Prowl said through gritted teeth. Roller didn’t need to see his face to know there was a big ‘Prowl scowl’ on it.

He also wasn’t surprised to learn that Prowl didn’t call his boyfriend his ‘boyfriend’.

Roller was used to Prowl’s odd behavior at this point. He wasn’t sure why he acted this way, but then again, he knew they weren’t born in the same places. Prowl was apparently born in Japan, living most of his life there until he met Mesothulas, who was researching in his city. Somehow, Mesothulas fell in love with that bland yet angry man and convinced him to return to America with him.

Maybe it was the Japanese lifestyle, but Roller was a purebred American man who grew up in public schools and a military household, so he couldn’t really hold Prowl accountable for anything he did. He often wondered if Prowl had any mental issues though, which he’d probably feel bad about making fun of his superior if that were the case.

“Don’t get so upset about that, I’m sure he’s just busy,” Roller told him as he began to rub Prowl’s back gently. Now Prowl didn’t respond well to either of those events. He deeply glared at Roller before raising his voice. Roller was glad no one else was in the ER at the time.

“Doing what? Working on his stupid experiments? Not getting a real job that actually provides for our household?” Prowl’s face was red now, and roller had taken his arm away from Prowl to avoid injury. “Ignoring me?” he finished, turning away from Roller and going back into his huffy state. Damn, Prowl could get temperamental, but he kinda felt bad for him at this point.

“He ignores you?” Roller asked softly, receiving a light nod in response. “That doesn’t seem right if he’s your boy- partner. He should at the very least give you the attention you want.”

Prowl shrugged, “We don’t even sleep together at this point. I should just break up with him, but then what was the point of even coming to this wasteland country?”

Roller was about to respond when a doctor with the largest under-eye bags he’d ever seen in his life yelled Prowl’s name through the double-door ER entrance. Prowl, not wanting to be alone in the doctor’s office grabbed Roller’s hand before dragging him across the waiting room and followed the doctor.

The doctor proceeded back with a quick “right-this-way” before pointing at an empty room and walking off. They got the hint and made their way into the room before Roller settled in a chair to the side and Prowl continued to stand awkwardly in the middle of the room.

“Uh…I think he’s going to want you on the bed,” Roller said as Prowl nodded, quietly pushing himself onto the firm hospital mattress. He wondered why the guy was being so quiet, until he noticed something. There was a noticeable tremor in Prowl’s hands, indicating that he was either uncomfortable or scared. 

A glimmer in his eye told him he was terrified.

In all honesty, now Roller was too. Prowl had only two settings: emotionless and angry. He’d never seen Prowl be…scared and on the verge of tears, and he wasn’t really ready to see that happen today. 

“Are you okay?” Roller asked, making his way over to Prowl, who didn’t protest when he grabbed his shaking hands.

With a crack in his voice that made Roller’s heart ache, Prowl responded. “I don’t like hospitals,” he said, his hands shaking even harder as Roller tried to steady them. He wondered what had Prowl, a guy who has had guns pointed directly at his face countless times, been involved in hostage situations, and threatened death, so scared of some tired guy in a lab coat.

Roller was probably going to regret this, but he wanted Prowl to calm down before he hurt himself. 

So he hugged him, tightly, and was surprised when the officer not only didn’t fight back, but wrapped his arms around the brute. Roller was stunned for a second until the door opened to reveal the disheveled doctor, whose name he could now see was Ratchet.

Taking a quick glance at his clipboard, Ratchet fixed his glasses, which stood atop a steep nose and hid the view of very light-grey and virtually colorless eyes.

“Dizzy spells, nausea, sudden odd sensations…” Ratchet pinched the bridge of his nose as his eyes peered over to the two obviously confused officers, as if he was judging them on why they came in the first place. “I have a very strong idea of what this might be,” he said as he placed a small stick in front of Prowl, who looked at it before sneering.

“I don’t mean to question your judgment, doctor,” Prowl started, the shakiness of his voice receding to Roller’s surprise as he spoke up. “But,” he began again, “I’m still a virgin. There has to be a different explanation for this.”

Roller chuckled. “I don’t think I’m ready for the second coming of Jesus yet,” he yelled awkwardly, and to his dismay, no one else in the room seemed as amused as he was by his own sense of humor. A doctor across the hall shot Roller a dirty side-eye before continuing what he was doing.

“Well,” Ratchet started after a short, silent period. “Are you one hundred percent certain that you cannot have had sex before. I know that stuff happens, and I would just like to be certain this is not the case before I move on to something else.”

The doctor’s words were ordinary, and he understood what he was referring to, but Prowl couldn’t help but feel a sudden chill run up his spine. He wanted to trust Mesothulas with every fiber of his being, but there was no denying the man was creepy. Still, Prowl would not “one hundred percent” put Mesothulas past raping him in his sleep, which told Prowl that he should go ahead and take the pregnancy test, just to make sure something like that hadn’t happened.

Roller’s eyes widened a bit as Prowl got up to go to the bathroom, and as he left, couldn’t help but wonder what kind of horrors that man had been through.

***

The bathroom was cold as Prowl watched the cheap, hospital-issued pregnancy strip in his hands. Prowl wasn’t one who liked to show his nervousness, and while he had already had an episode today, he didn’t feel the strength to explode into another one. He stared blankly with sullen eyes, praying slightly to himself that the doctor’s immediate hunch was too far off to be correct.

He had remained a virgin for his entire life up until now, so unless he was violated in his sleep by Mesothulas himself, there was no way pregnancy could be what was causing his overall grief. 

However, he felt a chill creep up his spine when he saw the double lines appear on that shitty piece of plastic.

“Impossible…” Prowl gasped out as he grabbed for the test and shakily made his way back to the room where Roller looked at him, fear planted directly on his face the moment he saw Prowl’s expression. Holding up the small strip for both people to see the truth, he chucked the godforsaken contraption into the garbage as hard as possible.

“Roller, let’s go!” he shouted, cocking his head towards the door and stomping out. Roller gave a quick, concerned glance to Ratchet, who gave him a reassuring nod which allowed the taller one to run out after Prowl.

“Prowler-“

“No,” Prowl stated sternly and frighteningly towards Roller, he veered back a little at the snap from the other man. Prowl just kept walking, stopping only to get into the police cruiser, now seated in the back of the car for a different reason.

He didn’t want Roller to see him cry.


End file.
